| Fri, Jan 30, 2009 |
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| The Strangeness of it All |
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I'm supposedly not at liberty to discuss this online for a spell, but I can't help but think that if I don't write about this particular adventure now, then I never will. I'll just adjust certain important words to fool the Googlebots.
The backstory goes like this: Husband tries out for a thing called Schmeopardy. Husband passes required tests and then flies out for a taping. I got to tag along, so here is a jumbled story from a Wife in the Audience point of view.
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The coordinators were pretty big on wanting all the contestants to get to the studio at the same time, so the hotel they had us stay at had a shuttle early in the morning. I double-checked with Husband that it was okay that I was on it. He said it was totally cool for me to be there. I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't welcome, however, especially seeing that I was the only "guest" in the group. During the shuttle ride I realized that I was very, very much out of place. I don't think that I've ever looked around at a group and had such an unshakeable feeling of I don't belong here. I don't usually find that I compare myself to others, but it was hard not to realize that I was indeed the hippest, most stupid, and hottest one of the bunch. Okay, so maybe I wasn't the hottest one, but if I have to be the least intelligent than I damn sure better be the best looking. I have to cling to something here, people. When we got to the studio, the coordinator asked who I was, and when I told her she said, "Oh, you don't belong here." Tell me something I don't know, Colleen.
I was then sent to wander around L.A. for three hours in which I found a Starbucks where I could appropriately imagine that I might be the most intelligent lady in the room. I subsequently listened to a few podcasts on Einstein's Ethics to seal the deal.
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The security backstage was a bit surprising. No strip searches or anything, but there was a metal detector and a few men that dug through my purse. There are few things that I hate more than people looking through my purse. I'm not quite sure why that is such an irritant for me; it isn't like I carry anything that is top secret or illegal, but it feels like such an invasion when it happens. An old woman in front of me during the line was flabbergasted by how long the process was taking and complained that she didn't see why it was necessary. I told her that they had to because "Malicks Brebeck" has an exorbitant amount of death threats on a weekly basis. She exclaimed "Really!!??" to which I said, no, it was a joke. A phrase I find myself saying more and more these days. Then the security guard asked me to quit making Malicks Brebeck death threat jokes. I really, really hate L.A. One of the things that annoys me MORE than people looking through my purse while simultaneously telling me to quit making jokes are jerks that won't let me take my camera into places. Seriously, why can't I take pictures of something that is going to be televised?
I have to admit that because I couldn't keep my nerves in check pretty much clouded the next three hours. Or maybe it was five. I can't really be sure. What I do remember is that watching the families of other contestants was not unlike watching families at football games. Proud parents pumping their fists at good answers, wringing their hands during Final Schmeopardy, and wives of returning champions acting very much like catty homecoming queens.
I won't risk divulging the rest of the story, but I will risk sharing a few other tidbits that I found interesting.
- They actually take real time breaks during the commercial breaks that we see at home. This is where Malicks blesses the audience with a Q & A which really loses its charm after the 4th show.
- The set isn't quite as slick and fancy as it looks onscreen. It is actually on the beat-up side and Husband says the podiums are the worst of it.
- They make the contestants do a really cheesy intro that is sent to their local affiliates saying things like "Hey Seattle, put down that coffee and watch me on Schmeopardy!"
- They make the contestants do a little segment doing something silly with their buzzers, like holding them up like a light saber and such. When it was Husband's turn, he was asked to "Wave his buzzer as if it were a lighter and he was at a Bryan Adams concert."
- At the end of the show, they bring Malicks Brebek and all the contestants out to the front to chat while the closing credits and music are rolling. There is a little red light that goes off when the taping is over. Apparently, Malicks abruptly stops whatever conversation is being had and simply walks away when the red light goes off. I found that to be most odious.
Schmeopardy.
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| Thu, Jan 22, 2009 |
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| Insert Grinder Related Pun |
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I know that most of you, especially those of you that talk to me on a daily basis, are starting to realize that I am ever so slightly cooking obsessed right now. This fact may lead you to dismiss just how awesome this grinder is. But I warn you, do not be blinded by my infatuation with cooking and ignore this piece of awe inspiring gadgetry.
I mean really, despite my preoccupations, I wouldn't take the time to do a blog entry about it if it didn't truly, truly warrant it. You just twist that little top part and voila! pepper! Or is it salt? In fact, it could be a makeshift decision maker if you needed one on the fly. Just close your eyes and start turning. Salt for yes, pepper for no. In related news, I've dyed my hair red.
For those of you that don't live here, I saw it on Amazon. For those of you that do, go to Allyson's. |
| Mon, Jan 19, 2009 |
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| For the Brides |
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The wedding planning season is in full swing this month and I am sending out a heads-up that there is only one slot left on my calendar (remember I go by the number of weddings, not just the date).
I really am just so giddy about the weddings that are coming up. I thought that I was probably running out on my "incredibly gorgeous while simultaneously being amazing" luck with clients, but somehow I keep being fortunate enough to get them. The list is sort of astounding when I think about it: scientists, chefs, doctors, soon-to-be lawyers, nurses, fantastic musicians... And no joke, they are all seriously good-looking. Apparently the whole of Oregon has turned into some sort of primetime David E. Kelley show.
In other news, my life isn't completely all-consumed with weddings. I'm working on (gasp!) a cookbook that will no doubt be edging its way onto the blog I'm sure.
And then of course, there is the biggest news of all that I can't even share with you guys. And BELIEVE me it has been so hard that I literally feel like I have to sit on my hands to keep from posting it. I'm in some way hoping that by writing this bit about wanting to tell you that it will squelch the urge. Stupid contractual rules...
I came across this picture while I was with a client yesterday and I was reminded of how yummy it was. It seems to have some sort of promise of long days and summer peaches about it. |
| Wed, Jan 14, 2009 |
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| I Have No Title For You |
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Or much of anything to say today. I am usually pretty good at finding something to say though, so let's see.
1. I'm watching reruns of Wonderfalls on DVD while working on albums today. If you were living under a rock in 2004 and never saw it, you should get them and thank me later.
2. If you happen to be the client whose album I'm working on, then prepare to have your socks knocked off because it is gorgeous, you and your fiancé are gorgeous, and so, of course, are your shoes.
3. I'm about to turn 30 in a few days. I'm freaking out a bit about that. |
| Thu, Jan 8, 2009 |
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| This Just In |
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| Gas prices in Little People Village are up to 3.41 a gallon. Might as well be armageddon. |
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| Posts: 149 |
| Comments: 282 |
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